Dragon Affirmations
by nicevenn
Summary: Commissioned work. Smaug accidentally activates an ancient incense burner, releasing a creature called Mushu, and simultaneously gets shrunk down to the size of a rabbit. Too bad that's when Thorin & Co. choose to arrive. The prompts were a picture of Bilbo stealing a shrunken Smaug and the inclusion of Milan's Mushu and "I am fire. I am death."


The incense burner wasn't worthy of a place in Smaug's vast treasure hoard. It was hideous and made of bronze. And no matter how far away from it Smaug positioned himself when going to sleep, by some strange magic, it'd be right in front of his face when he woke up, the bronze creature clutching the edges of the dish appearing to stare straight at him.

Smaug gazed at it now in his drowsy state, having just woken up from a deep slumber—but this time he didn't even bother turning away from the ugly thing. He simply burrowed his snout deeper into the gold coins all around him and drifted off again.

"I LIVE!"

Smaug wasn't sure how many years had passed when the piercing, drawn-out shriek startled him awake.

"Who are you?" he demanded, looking around—but no sooner did the words leave his mouth than he realized that something was terribly wrong.

Smaug's lair suddenly looked much bigger, and the coins all around him, tiny things when he'd last burrowed in them, now seemed to be hundreds of times their normal size. This wouldn't have been a bad thing if both his lair and his treasure had multiplied in size; but the strange tingle he felt all over his body told him that whatever magic this was had more likely affected him, rather than his surroundings.

At last his eyes came to rest on the source of the shouting. The creature drew up to its full height when it saw him. It was about Smaug's size, and it had gold scales on its belly and red ones on its back. It could almost pass for a dragon if only it had wings.

"I'm the great and powerful Mushu," the creature announced. He looked around at the ruins of the great hall and the mounds of gold and other treasure littering the ground, and his eyes grew wide. "This is a nice place you've got here."

"Mushu…" Smaug repeated with distaste. "A fitting name for one so disappointing to look upon."

"Hey now, wait a min—" Mushu stopped when Smaug took flight and then landed a few feet in front of him.

"How did you get in here?" Smaug snarled, barring his teeth. "And what curse have you placed on me?"

"Curse? I didn't curse anyone." Mushu took a few steps back as Smaug advanced on him. "And it must have been your need for protection that brought me to life."

Smaug stared at him for a moment, then threw his head back and laughed. "You think that I, Smaug, need your protection? I have survived for centuries on my own. I've desolated entire towns and terrorized and feasted upon their people." He drew himself up to his full size, which was actually alarmingly small at the moment; but he wouldn't admit to any weakness. "I am fire. I am death."

But Mushu only shook his head. "Affirmations don't work, man. I once tried affirming that I was the Great Stone Dra—"

Smaug took a deep breath exhaled fire from his belly; for a moment it engulfed the insufferable creature entirely. Smaug was sure that would be the last he would see of him, but when he was done, the strange lizard merely coughed and spluttered.

"Now, how kind was that?" Mushu asked. "Anyway, maybe you've got the fire thing down, but if you'd like to raze villages, you'd do best to work on your size, first."

Smaug huffed, releasing billows of smoke from his nostrils. "What are you?"

"Why, I'm a dragon, much like yourself."

"A dragon without wings?"

"Of course! You're the anomaly—"

But their argument was interrupted by the jingle of shifting coins, a sound followed shortly by soft cursing. Both dragons turned toward the source of the noise, but there was nothing to be seen.

"Whom have you brought with you, thief?" Smaug demanded.

"I didn't bring anybody," Mushu said. "And I am not a thief. I am a guardian! Don't worry, I'll protect you. It's my duty. Maybe then the ancestors will—"

But Smaug took off again, gliding gracefully toward the source of the disturbance. He was furious. Thieves in my lair! And to make things worse, he was now a small fraction of his usual size. In order to search for the invisible intruder, he'd had to leave the other one far behind.

"You're not going to make this any easier if you keep flying about like that!" Mushu yelled after him. "I can't keep up!"

"Where are you?" Smaug asked the invisible thief after he landed. As he tried to sniff him or her out he suddenly caught the smell of dwarves as well as another, unfamiliar scent, this one more humanoid than the strange wingless dragon's. "Reveal yourself!"

Servants of Oakenshield, no doubt, he thought, trying to help him reclaim what is now rightfully mine. But he felt a twinge of fear as well, for whatever magic they had used to shrink him down to the size of a rabbit had rendered him all but useless.

Smaug turned in circles where he stood, looking and listening for movement, and sniffing the air.

Then, suddenly, everything went black.

"We must kill him."

Smaug's belly twisted at the sound of the deep voice ordering his destruction. He didn't dare move, however, lest he drew attention to himself and the fact that he had regained consciousness, for he was surrounded by dwarves.

"That wouldn't be right," said someone in a higher-pitched voice. Smaug recognized its owner by his odd scent – it was the invisible intruder who had somehow managed to knock him out and take him away from the safety and comfort of his lair. "He's the size of a small rabbit with wings. And he's unconscious."

"He wasn't the size of a rabbit when he drove us from the mountain!" the first voice thundered.

"Thorin's right," said another, older-sounding dwarf. "Whatever magic has shrunk him to his current size might end at any moment, and how will we defeat him then? This may be our only chance."

"Well, I like him," said the one named Bilbo, and he picked Smaug up and stroked his scales. "As long as he remains this size, I claim him as my one-fourteenth share."

There was a collective groan from the dwarves. Smaug groaned inwardly as well, but stalling was the best option at present. At any moment he could return to his full size and exact revenge upon Thorin and his company.

"We can consult Gandalf about the magic when we next see him," Bilbo continued. "Until then, if you want to harm him, you'll have to go through me first."

Finally Smaug allowed himself a languid stretch in Bilbo's arms. Oh, this is going to be fun.

"We'll see how fond of him you are when he wakes fully and burns your arse off."

Meanwhile, Mushu had finally crept out of the great hall and was observing the proceedings with great interest, already plotting ways to free Smaug from the bearded, stocky beings that had captured him.

"Don't worry, Smaug," he whispered. "I am a guardian extraordinaire, and I will find a way save you."


End file.
